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	<title>Fear the Dunya</title>
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	<description>Ad-Dunya Sijn-ul-Mu'min</description>
	<pubDate>Fri, 27 Jun 2008 18:11:37 +0000</pubDate>
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			<item>
		<title>Shaykh Rabee&#8217; Defends Shaykhs of Yemen</title>
		<link>http://fearthedunya.wordpress.com/2008/06/27/shaykh-rabee-defends-shaykhs-of-yemen/</link>
		<comments>http://fearthedunya.wordpress.com/2008/06/27/shaykh-rabee-defends-shaykhs-of-yemen/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 27 Jun 2008 18:10:30 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>fearthedunya</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Reminders]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://fearthedunya.wordpress.com/?p=276</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Translated into English:

Shaykh Rabee&#8217; Ibn Haadee al-Madkhalee is asked about the current condition of the school of Shaykh Muqbil in Damaaj, and about the recent revilement that has occurred from some of the people against this school and its Shaykhs. 
He clarifies that the Shaykhs of Yemen are in the best of conditions and that [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><br /><p><span>Translated into English:</span></p>
<p><span style="text-align:center; display: block;"><a href="http://fearthedunya.wordpress.com/2008/06/27/shaykh-rabee-defends-shaykhs-of-yemen/"><img src="http://img.youtube.com/vi/H9htGs_uvRA/2.jpg" alt="" /></a></span></p>
<p><span><em>Shaykh Rabee&#8217; Ibn Haadee al-Madkhalee</em> is asked about the current condition of the school of Shaykh Muqbil in Damaaj, and about the recent revilement that has occurred from some of the people against this school and its Shaykhs. </span></p>
<p><span>He clarifies that the Shaykhs of Yemen are in the best of conditions and that their works delight the chests of the believers and that their works anger every person of desire!</span></p>
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		<title>PHOTOS: Housing in Damaaj/Sa&#8217;dah</title>
		<link>http://fearthedunya.wordpress.com/2008/06/27/photos-housing-in-damaajsadah/</link>
		<comments>http://fearthedunya.wordpress.com/2008/06/27/photos-housing-in-damaajsadah/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 27 Jun 2008 16:54:36 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>fearthedunya</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Photos]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Photos of Damaaj and the Sa&#8217;dah province (in which Damaaj is located), with interspersed commentary from Talibideen Jr&#8217;s Account of Living in Damaaj, previously posted HERE


“…Damaaj is nestled in the mountains and as you reach the last set of mountains coming in, it is a beautiful view as you look down on Damaaj. Spots of [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><br /><p style="text-align:center;">Photos of Damaaj and the Sa&#8217;dah province (in which Damaaj is located), with interspersed commentary from Talibideen Jr&#8217;s Account of Living in Damaaj, previously posted <a href="http://fearthedunya.wordpress.com/2008/04/14/a-sisters-account-of-living-in-damaaj/">HERE</a></p>
<p style="text-align:center;">
<p style="text-align:center;"><a href="http://fearthedunya.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/view20of20saada.jpg"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-274" src="http://fearthedunya.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/view20of20saada.jpg?w=400&h=277" alt="" width="400" height="277" /></a></p>
<p>“…Damaaj is nestled in the mountains and as you reach the last set of mountains coming in, it is a beautiful view as you look down on Damaaj. Spots of green trees sprinkled here and there.&#8221;</p>
<p><a href="http://fearthedunya.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/clay-house-in-saadah.jpg"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-266" src="http://fearthedunya.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/clay-house-in-saadah.jpg?w=369&h=248" alt="" width="369" height="248" /></a></p>
<p style="text-align:center;"><strong>Clay House in Sa&#8217;dah Province</strong></p>
<p style="text-align:center;">&#8220;The house was better than I had expected for mud. Ours was painted on the outside and had a little decoration. Some houses are just kind of plain and look like what you see in National Geographic.&#8221;</p>
<p style="text-align:center;"><span id="more-265"></span></p>
<p style="text-align:center;">
<p style="text-align:center;"><a href="http://fearthedunya.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/masjid_in_dammaaj.jpg"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-270" src="http://fearthedunya.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/masjid_in_dammaaj.jpg?w=400&h=300" alt="" width="400" height="300" /></a></p>
<p style="text-align:center;"><strong>Homes Around Masjid in Dammaaj</strong></p>
<p style="text-align:center;">&#8220;The houses are mostly made of mud bricks while some choose to build with cynder block. The houses have running water and some areas have electricity for a couple of hours at night time.&#8221;</p>
<p style="text-align:center;"><a href="http://fearthedunya.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/a20village20in20saada.jpg"><img class="size-full wp-image-267 aligncenter" src="http://fearthedunya.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/a20village20in20saada.jpg?w=400&h=281" alt="" width="400" height="281" /></a></p>
<p style="text-align:center;"><strong>Village in Sa&#8217;dah</strong></p>
<p style="text-align:center;">&#8220;The main thing that I didn’t like about our particular house was that there was a courtyard in the middle of the house. It was nice in that at night, you could gaze up at the stars and it looked like you were at a planetarium. We had them put a screening over it because they were just going to leave it exposed. (to creatures and whatever else).&#8221;</p>
<p style="text-align:center;"><a href="http://fearthedunya.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/homes20in20saada.jpg"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-269" src="http://fearthedunya.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/homes20in20saada.jpg?w=400&h=275" alt="" width="400" height="275" /></a></p>
<p style="text-align:center;"><strong>Homes in Sa&#8217;dah</strong></p>
<p style="text-align:center;">&#8220;So what was bad? Well when it rained in the courtyard, it was raining in the house. The floors were concrete so there was no damage, but to get from my room to the kitchen, I had to go “outside”&#8230;Some people have plastic tarpaulin type roofs. Ours was more like a “regular” roof, but we still had some problems with it.&#8221;</p>
<p style="text-align:center;"><a href="http://fearthedunya.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/saada20building.jpg"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-271" src="http://fearthedunya.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/saada20building.jpg?w=400&h=264" alt="" width="400" height="264" /></a></p>
<p style="text-align:center;"><strong>More Sa&#8217;dah Architecture</strong></p>
<p style="text-align:center;">&#8220;A couple of times it rained and the roof sprung a leak and down came mud and water. The kitchen was hit pretty hard one time, but the owner came from next door and repaired it masha Allah.&#8221;</p>
<p style="text-align:center;">*****************************************************************************</p>
<p style="text-align:center;"><strong>HOUSING RUNDOWN</strong></p>
<p style="text-align:left;"><strong>BUYING/RENTING HOUSES</strong></p>
<ul>
<li><em>Buying</em> a (very spacious) House: $4,000 and $10,000.</li>
<li>One Year&#8217;s <em>Rent</em>: $400- $600</li>
</ul>
<p><strong>APARTMENTS:</strong></p>
<ul>
<li>Renting apartments can cost between $15-$30 per month.</li>
<li>The single brothers pay $15 for a share of a modest apartment</li>
<li>Married students get a little more space/privacy for $30.</li>
</ul>
<p><strong>CHEAPER OPTIONS</strong></p>
<ul>
<li><em>Building your own house</em> on cheaper land (on the mountain, or on top of another house.</li>
</ul>
<p><strong>BUILDING MATERIAL:</strong></p>
<ul>
<li>The houses are mostly made of mud bricks while some choose to build with cynder block. The houses have running water and some areas have electricity for a couple of hours at night time.</li>
</ul>
<p><strong>LIVING EXPENSES</strong></p>
<ul>
<li>The cost of living here is cheap. A small family can easily get by on $100 a month.</li>
</ul>
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		<title>The Reality of this Dunya</title>
		<link>http://fearthedunya.wordpress.com/2008/06/27/the-reality-of-this-dunya/</link>
		<comments>http://fearthedunya.wordpress.com/2008/06/27/the-reality-of-this-dunya/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 27 Jun 2008 16:10:46 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>fearthedunya</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Reminders]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://fearthedunya.wordpress.com/?p=214</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[


       ]]></description>
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<p style="text-align:center;">
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		<title>Excellent E-Book on Hijrah</title>
		<link>http://fearthedunya.wordpress.com/2008/06/24/excellent-e-book-on-hijrah-2/</link>
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		<pubDate>Tue, 24 Jun 2008 22:13:50 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>fearthedunya</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Hijrah]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[

Questions &#38; Answers Concerning Al-Hijrah
By Shaykh &#8216;Abdur Rahmaan al-&#8217;Adanee
&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8211;
Click HERE for the Audio
       ]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><br /><p style="text-align:center;"><a href="http://fearthedunya.files.wordpress.com/2007/07/ebook-on-hijrah.pdf"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-262" src="http://fearthedunya.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/hijrah.jpg?w=450&h=321" alt="" width="450" height="321" /></a></p>
<p style="text-align:center;">
<p style="text-align:center;"><a href="http://"><strong><a title="Questions &amp; Answers Concerning AlHijrah" href="http://fearthedunya.files.wordpress.com/2007/07/ebook-on-hijrah.pdf">Questions &amp; Answers Concerning Al-Hijrah</a></strong></a><br />
By Shaykh <span>&#8216;Abdur Rahmaan al-&#8217;Adanee</span><br />
&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8211;</p>
<p style="text-align:center;">Click <a href="http://www.masjiduthaymeen.org/posts/2005/02/26/53.htm">HERE</a> for the Audio</p>
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		<title>How to Memorize the Qur&#8217;an (Part I)</title>
		<link>http://fearthedunya.wordpress.com/2008/06/24/how-to-memorize-the-quran-part-i/</link>
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		<pubDate>Tue, 24 Jun 2008 21:43:57 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>fearthedunya</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Reminders]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[A Practical Method

Choosing a Suitable Time
The student must choose a suitable time for memorization and the most ideal time is after Fajr, after having completed the morning adhkaar (words of remembrance). The student of the Qur&#8217;aan must strive and struggle to change his / her sleeping habits and to make the very best usage of [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><br /><p style="text-align:center;"><strong>A Practical Method</strong></p>
<p style="text-align:center;"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-263" src="http://fearthedunya.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/quran-in-the-candlelight.jpg?w=399&h=299" alt="" width="399" height="299" /></p>
<p><strong>Choosing a Suitable Time</strong></p>
<p>The student must choose a suitable time for memorization and the most ideal time is after Fajr, after having completed the morning adhkaar (words of remembrance). The student of the Qur&#8217;aan must strive and struggle to change his / her sleeping habits and to make the very best usage of their time, with discipline, scheduling and determination. The Prophet (s) informed us that Allaah has placed barakah (blessing) in the early part of the day. So, though one may sit for half an hour after Fajr or half an hour after Maghrib, he / she will accomplish more in the time after Fajr.</p>
<p>In order to remain awake after Fajr, one must then strive to sleep early and / or take a nap in the afternoon if possible. Staying up after Fajr must become a lifestyle for the student of the Qur&#8217;aan, so that they can maintain their relationship with the Qur&#8217;aan throughout their entire lives, by Allaah&#8217;s permission.</p>
<p>If, for some reason, the student cannot do it immediately after Fajr, then before Fajr is the next best time. However, he / she should not attempt memorization in the evening, as the fruits will not be fully reaped.[1]</p>
<p>Also, the student must ensure that nothing will interfere with the time set for memorization, whether phone calls, family members&#8217; needs, etc.</p>
<p><strong>Choosing a suitable place</strong></p>
<p>The student must choose a suitable place to memorize. Ideally, the place should have all, or most of the following qualities:</p>
<p>· It should be a room free of pictures (as much as is possible).<br />
· It should be plain and simple.<br />
· It should not be in a place which will encourage sleep, like in the bedroom or close to the bed.</p>
<p>Hence, memorization in &#8220;nature&#8221;, contrary to what some may think, is actually not advisable, as the student will easily become distracted.</p>
<p><strong>Observing the etiquette of Qur&#8217;aan</strong></p>
<p>The student should make wudhoo&#8217; and maintain it (i.e. renew it upon breaking it) while they sit with the Qur&#8217;aan. It is also advisable to sit facing the qiblah, if possible. Though women are not required to wear head scarves, they should be dressed modestly.</p>
<p><strong>Same mushaf</strong></p>
<p>The student should have one mus-haf, from which they memorize and review. The Arabic mus-haf (i.e. not the Pakistani prints) should be chosen, as it is more suitable for memorization, due to the fact that each page starts with the beginning of a verse and ends with the ends of a verse. The student should maintain their mus-haf and avoid switching mus-hafs.</p>
<p>However, it is also advisable for the student to keep a small mus-haf in his pocket or her purse as well as one in the car. This is because, if one has spare time, or gets stuck in a waiting room or in traffic, they can use that time to review. And such times are not always planned, as to allow the student to maintain their main mus-haf with them.</p>
<p>Students should also have a mus-haf stand and a pencil to mark mistakes. Its is also advisable that students have a notebook in which to record their daily progress, as provided by Hifzh schools. A sample record sheet is attached and may be photocopied and used.</p>
<p><strong>Order of memorization</strong></p>
<p>Students should memorize in order, even if they have previously memorized bits and pieces from here and there. They should start from the back (Juz &#8216;Amma) or the front (Soorat al-Baqarah) and continue. Ideally, students should memorize 3 or 5 juz&#8217;s from the back and then move to Soorat al-Baqarah, as it allows the student to start with something easy and build up from there. At the very least, students should first memorize Juz &#8216;Amma before starting Soorat al-Baqarah.</p>
<p><strong>Start with the &#8220;warm up&#8221;</strong></p>
<p>Once the student sits with the Qur&#8217;aan to start memorization, the first thing he/she should do is the &#8220;warm-up&#8221;. The student should read the ½ page or page that he / she intends to memorize, slowly and melodiously, paying close attention to applying Tajweed rules, proper makhaarij, etc. Depending on the student&#8217;s time frame and level of motivation, the student may also listen to a tape of a good reciter reciting that page.</p>
<p>If the student does not understand Arabic, he / she should then read the meaning from the translated Qur&#8217;aan in English (or their language).</p>
<p>Once the student had read the page (and meaning if needed), he / she should begin the process of memorization.</p>
<p><span id="more-259"></span></p>
<p>________________________________________________________________________________________________</p>
<h2><strong><span style="color:#800000;">METHODS OF MEMORIZATION</span><br />
</strong></h2>
<p>A) Memorize the verse. Read one verse 3-5 times. If the verse is long, divide it and read the first part of the verse. If the verse is very short, one can do 2 verses at once. Then close the mus-haf and attempt the verse (or part of the verse) without looking. If you are still unsure, look at it and carefully read it once more. Repeat it without looking 5 times. Then look at it one more time and read it, in order to make sure you memorized it correctly. Then close the mus-haf and recite it without looking one more time.</p>
<p>B ) Connect the verses. Do the next verse in the same way. Then do verse 1 and 2 together without looking once. If you are successful, move on to verse 3. But if you forget something, look at that part which you forgot and read it once more, then repeat that verse without looking once. Then continue reciting, without starting over. Upon completing verse 2, you should repeat verses 1-2 once more. You must be able to say them together without any mistake or hesitation before moving on to the next verse.</p>
<p>Then do verse 3 the same way. Then do verses 1-3 ONCE without looking, etc. If you forget something in doing verses 1-3 together, do the same as was explained above. That is, read the verse you forgot, then say the verse without looking, then move on until you complete verse 3, not hesitating to look if you forget. Upon completing verse 3, repeat 1-3 again, until you can recite them once without any mistakes. And so on, until you finish your memorization assignment.</p>
<p>C) Repeat the page thrice. Upon completing the page or ½ a page, recite it altogether 3 times.</p>
<p>D) Five time throughout the day. It is not uncommon for students to forget what they memorized in the morning by the afternoon. In order that the student should not forget the morning&#8217;s new assignment, he / she should repeat it 4-5 times that day. An easy and practical to do so is to review it immediately before or after their prayers throughout the day. By Maghrib or &#8216;Ishaa, they can even pray with it confidently, inshaa&#8217; Allaah (Allaah willing).</p>
<p>________________________________________________________________________________________________</p>
<h2><strong><span style="color:#800000;">CONNECTING THE PAGES</span><br />
</strong></h2>
<p>A common problem that students confront when reviewing is that of forgetting which page comes next. Hence, the student must connect the end of one page to the beginning of the next page. He / she can do so when they are memorizing the new page, by starting the memorization process from the last verse of the previous page. Then each time they memorize a verse, instead of going back and repeating from the beginning of the page, they should repeat from the last verse of the previous page. In other words, they &#8220;pretend&#8221;, so to speak, that their new assignment starts from the last verse of the previous assignment. The only point to note is that they do not actually have to rememorize that verse, but to recite it along with the others.</p>
<p>________________________________________________________________________________________________</p>
<h2><span style="color:#800000;"><strong>REVIEW</strong></span></h2>
<p>As will be described later, review must be done daily. However, memorization should always be done before review, as it takes more concentration and will need to be done when his / her mind is most fresh.</p>
<p><strong>Suggested Method of Review</strong><br />
Student recites without looking. If he gets stuck, forgets, or is unsure, he should look in the mus-haf and read the portion he forgot. Then he should close it and repeat that verse (or portion of the verse) 3 times without looking. Then continue on, without starting over, doing the same each time he forgets, until he completes the page. If the page contained any mistakes, he should repeat the page again until he can do it without mistakes, before moving on to the next page.</p>
<p>If that page, or even that juz&#8217;, is particularly weak, the student may read over the page once before doing what we just described.</p>
<p>________________________________________________________________________________________________</p>
<h2><strong><span style="color:#800000;">SYSTEM OF MEMORIZATION</span><br />
</strong></h2>
<p>The students&#8217; assignment is divided into three categories, all of which are done daily, for 5 days a week.</p>
<p><strong>1. New Memorization Assignment (NMA) - ﺣﻔﻆ ﺟﺪﻳﺪ</strong></p>
<p>Using the method described above, the student memorizes the same amount daily, starting with ½ a page and gradually working towards 1 page a day. If the student is a complete beginner and has trouble with ½ a page using the previously described method of memorization he / she may start with a ¼ or 1/3 of a page and work their way up. Advanced students may eventually do 2-3 pages maximum daily, in order to allow more review time.</p>
<p>Approximate time required: ½ hr.</p>
<p><strong>2. Recently Memorized Verses (RMV) - ﻣﺮﺍﺟﻌﺔ ﺍﻟﺟﺪﻳﺪ</strong></p>
<p>If the student is memorizing less than 1 page a day, he / she reviews the last 5 pages he / she memorized, with the NMA included. If the student memorizes one page a day, he or she should review the last 10 pages he / she memorized, with the NMA included. However, if time constraints make this difficult, then 5 pages is the minimum. If advanced student memorize 2-3 pages a day, they must do 20 pages of RMV.</p>
<p>Approximate time required: ½ hr.</p>
<p><strong>3. Review:ﻣﺮﺍﺟﻌﺔ ﻋﺎﻣﺔ</strong></p>
<p>Student reviews 10 pages (½ a juz&#8217;) a day for starters, and eventually 1 juz&#8217; a day (after memorizing 5 juz&#8217;s), starting from the beginning of what they memorized until the point they reached in memorization. We often refer to this as one &#8220;round of revision&#8221;. The goal is to finish one &#8220;round of revision&#8221; in no more than 2 weeks. So, once a person completes 15 juz&#8217;s, they should advance to reviewing 2 juz&#8217;s daily.</p>
<p>Approximate time: ½ hr – 1 hr (depending on strength and weaknesses of that particular juz&#8217;)</p>
<p>________________________________________________________________________________________________</p>
<p><strong>Mistake System:</strong></p>
<p>A mistake is when the student makes a mistake in the actual recitation or forgets what comes next. The teacher simply indicates to the student that they made a mistake. If the student corrects herself, if is considered &#8220;½ a mistake&#8221;. If the student is unable to correct herself (in a relatively short amount of time), then it is considered a full mistake.</p>
<p>· Students are allowed NO mistakes or &#8220;½ mistakes&#8221; in their NMA. If the student does have any mistakes, he / she may not memorize anything new the next day, but must perfect that day&#8217;s NMA.</p>
<p>· Students may not have more than a total of 1 mistake per every 5 pages of their RMV. Full and half mistakes are added up to come up with the final number of mistakes. If the student does have more than the permitted number of mistakes, she may not memorize anything new the next day, but must perfect the RMV instead.</p>
<p>· Students may not have more than 3 mistakes in total in their Review. If she does have more 3 mistakes, she must review that same juz&#8217; the next day, making sure to correct her mistakes.</p>
<p>· Mistakes are marked with a pencil by the teacher in the students mus-haf, with a distinction between a mistake and ½ a mistake. For example, in addition to underline (or &#8220;over-lining&#8221;) the actual mistake, the teacher can write in the margin next to the line wherein the mistake occurred, and in the case of a ½ mistake. Then at the end the teacher can add up the total number of mistakes.</p>
<p>· Often times, mistakes become grounded in the student&#8217;s mind and they continues to make the same mistakes each time. To avoid this, if a mistake (or ½ mistake) is marked in the mus-haf, and the next time around the student makes the same mistake, it is doubled (i.e. the ½ mistake is considered a full mistake and the full mistake counts as 2 mistakes). Teachers and students should focus in on the mistakes and be sure to get rid of them immediately, which is the very reason that they are being marked in their mus-haf.</p>
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		<title>She Abandoned Her Righteous Friends&#8230;</title>
		<link>http://fearthedunya.wordpress.com/2008/06/24/she-forsook-her-righteous-friends/</link>
		<comments>http://fearthedunya.wordpress.com/2008/06/24/she-forsook-her-righteous-friends/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 24 Jun 2008 21:27:38 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>fearthedunya</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Advice]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[ahl-al-khayr]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[fatwa]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Islam]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[islamqa]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[new fatwa]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[righteous friends]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[See Original IslamQA Fatwa HERE
****************************************************************************************
QUESTION:
I have a problem and I cannot make a decision regarding it. But this decision has to be taken within few days. I have friends who I think are good. I am 22 years old, four years ago I knew them in university, we co-operate in that which is good. We [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><br /><p style="text-align:center;">See Original IslamQA Fatwa <a href="http://islamqa.com/en/ref/106441">HERE</a></p>
<p style="text-align:center;">****************************************************************************************</p>
<p><strong>QUESTION:</strong></p>
<p>I have a problem and I cannot make a decision regarding it. But this decision has to be taken within few days. I have friends who I think are good. I am 22 years old, four years ago I knew them in university, we co-operate in that which is good. We encouraged each other and memorized 15 Juz’ of the glorious Qur&#8217;an. We made a wonderful magazine about the prophet, peace be upon him. They supported me against a big problem I faced in which the whole environment at university was against me. We have a daily circle in which we study about the book of Allah.</p>
<p>The problem is that I cannot tolerate them anymore; I feel I am masked in front of them, and have another face behind their backs. Some silly situations happened made me stop calling them or meeting them. I apologized to them and made our contact only via mail, using few simple sentences, such as how are you, fine, and that is all.  As for memorizing and all other projects with them, I stopped them all. I really hated all of them; I did not complete my memorization till now.</p>
<p>I feel very weak in terms of worshipping, no fasting, no praying at night, I do not know if it is devil or what, they want me to decide what exactly I want to do, I decided to live alone, isolated from the whole world, I became hateful and envious, my heart is so black, blacker even than a dark night. I feel that having friendship with them has an aspect of being attached to life, superficiality and other women issues.</p>
<p>What shall I do? Even the reminder message from them, specially these messages I delete before I read!</p>
<p><span id="more-257"></span><br />
I fear if I say to them that I am going to leave them forever, I put a black point in their hearts against me; for they made me a model; some of them swear by Allah that if it was not by Allah’s grace then my help they would not be even praying, praying at night, fasting a day after a day, memorizing, or waking each other up for fajr prayer.</p>
<p>Now I really hate them. I know this is from devil but by Allah I cannot help it, how can I stay with them, I stress on myself, and leave this matter of being just alone and I return to them because they send me so many messages urging me to return. They ask me by Allah to answer them. This situation affected my study negatively; I feel it is punishment from Allah to me. I do not want to feel that I am better than anyone, not in terms of worldly matters or any other matter.</p>
<p>I feel that my suffering is greater than the messengers’ sufferance; because a messenger is certain that Allah loves him, and that Allah is supporting him. I fear this is a punishment for a reason I do not know. Shall I forsake them, or return? What shall I say to them? A person sometimes falls in a problem he/she thinks is very complicated and that there is no solution for it.<br />
Please guide me by your experience because I leave this matter on Allah, then I will use your advice. May Allah bless you with Paradise.</p>
<p><strong>ANSWER:</strong></p>
<div class="answer">Praise be to Allaah.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;direction:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;"><strong><em>Firstly: </em></strong></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;direction:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;">Undoubtedly what you are feeling towards your sisters is      caused by the shaytaan and his plots and tricks. According to what you say      in your letter, these sisters have not done anything to make you treat them      in this manner; even if they made some mistakes or did something wrong, all      people are like that; who is there who never did anything wrong?</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;direction:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;">This indicates that the matter is no more than a trick of the      shaytaan to make you fall into the situation you are in now. We are sorry to      see that he has succeeded in that and that he has made these friends hateful      to you and caused you to give up on doing acts of obedience and worship.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;direction:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;">Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;direction:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;">“O you who believe! Follow not the footsteps of Shaytaan      (Satan). And whosoever follows the footsteps of Shaytaan (Satan), then,      verily, he commands Al‑Fahsha’ [i.e. to commit indecency (illegal sexual      intercourse)], and Al‑Munkar [disbelief and polytheism (i.e. to do evil and      wicked deeds; and to speak or to do what is forbidden in Islam)]”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;direction:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;">[al-Noor 24:21]</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;direction:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;">You should understand that the tricks that the shaytaan uses      with those who are obedient to their Lord are:</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;text-indent:-0.25in;direction:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;margin-left:0.5in;">1.         Sowing discord among the      Muslims, especially between righteous  friends</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;direction:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;">It was narrated that Jaabir said: I heard the Prophet       (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: “The Shaytaan has despaired      of being worshipped in the Arabian Peninsula, but he will sow seeds of      discord among them.” Narrated by Muslim (2812).</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;direction:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;">Al-Nawawi said: This hadeeth is one of the miracles of      Prophethood. What it means is that he has despaired of being worshipped by      the people of the Arabian Peninsula, but he will strive to sow discord among      them, with arguments, disputes, wars, tribulations and so on.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;direction:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;">Sharh Muslim (17/156).</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;text-indent:-0.25in;direction:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;margin-left:0.5in;">2.         He makes righteous company      hateful to them, and causes them to prefer harmful isolation</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;direction:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;">It was narrated that Abu’l-Darda’ said: I heard the Messenger      of Allaah  (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: “There are      no three men in a town or in the desert among whom prayer is not      established, but the shaytaan has taken control of them, so you must adhere      to the jamaa’ah, for the wolf only eats the sheep that wanders away on its      own.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;direction:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;">Narrated by Abu Dawood (547) and al-Nasaa’i (847); classed as      hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;direction:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;">It was narrated from Mu’aadh ibn Jabal that the Messenger of      Allaah  (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The shaytaan      is the wolf of man like the wolf of sheep takes the stray sheep and the one      that wanders far. Beware of division, and adhere to the jamaa’ah.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;direction:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;">Narrated by Ahmad (22029); classed as hasan by the editors of     al-Musnad.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;direction:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;">Al-Manaawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: i.e., he      corrupts man, by tempting him, and he destroys him, like a wolf running      loose among a flock of sheep.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;direction:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;">“He takes the stray sheep” i.e., the one that wanders far      from its companions. This is a metaphor for the one who is separate from the      jamaa’ah (main body of Muslims) and keeps away from them, then the shaytaan      overpowers him, like the sheep that wanders away from the flock, then the      wolf catches it because it is alone.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;direction:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;">The metaphor ends with a warning: “beware of division” i.e.,      beware of separation and dissent. “And adhere to the jamaa’ah”, affirmation      after affirmation, i.e., cling to it, stay with the main group, for the one      who drifts away will end up in the Fire.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;direction:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;">Fayd al-Qadeer (2/350).</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;direction:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;">Strive to bar both ways to the shaytaan, and do not open any      doors to evil. You did not become bored and lose resolve to obey Allaah      until after the shaytaan was able to overpower you and lead you in the way      he wanted. Perhaps if you compare your situation now with your situation      before, you will be able to see that it is the result of the shaytaan’s      plots and tricks, so beware and pay attention.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;direction:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;">Righteous friends are one of the greatest means by which a      Muslim can remain steadfast in adhering to his religion, so strive to form      such friendships as Allaah has prescribed.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify;direction:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;">It was narrated from Abu Moosa that the Prophet  (peace      and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The believers are like a      structure, parts of which support other parts.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify;direction:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;">Narrated by al-Bukhaari (467) and Muslim (2585).</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;direction:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;">‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab (may Allaah be pleased with him) said:      “You should seek sincere brothers, for they are an adornment at times of      ease and a support at times of calamity.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;direction:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;">Strive to do acts of worship and righteous deeds, for they      are the best help in remaining steadfast, as Allaah says (interpretation of      the meaning):</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;direction:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;">“Allaah will keep firm those who believe, with the word      that stands firm in this world (i.e. they will keep on worshipping Allaah      Alone and none else), and in the Hereafter. And Allaah will cause to go      astray those who are Zaalimoon (polytheists and wrongdoers), and Allaah does      what He wills”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;direction:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;">[Ibraaheem 14:27]</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;direction:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;">“but if they had done what they were told, it would have      been better for them, and would have strengthened their (Faith)”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;direction:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;">[al-Nisa’ 4:66]</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;direction:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;">Strive to persist in saying du’aa’ and beseech Allaah to make      you steadfast in adhering to His religion, and to increase you in guidance      and strength and righteousness, for this is the state of the believers, as      Allaah tells us of them in the verse where He says (interpretation of the      meaning):</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;direction:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;">“(They say): ‘Our Lord! Let not our hearts deviate (from      the truth) after You have guided us, and grant us mercy from You. Truly, You      are the Bestower’”<br />
[Aal ‘Imraan 3:8]</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;direction:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;">It was narrated that Anas said: The Messenger of Allaah       (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) often used to say: “O Turner of      the hearts, make my heart steadfast in adhering to Your religion.” Narrated      by al-Tirmidhi (2140) and Ibn Maajah (3834); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani      in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;direction:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;">Setting things straight between you and them need not take a      great deal of effort. You can restore this good relationship by replying to      their messages, talking to them, and telling them that you have some      personal problems, with no need to tell them the details; it is sufficient      to be a lesson for you in the future.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;direction:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;"><strong><em>Secondly: </em></strong></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;direction:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;">Beware of being alone and remaining isolated, because they      are the first steps on the road to deviation and falling into the pit. If      your withdrawing is for the purpose of worship and devotion, then it has      some basis in sharee’ah, but the kind of isolation that leads to apathy is a      haraam kind of isolation. In that case mixing with your friends becomes      obligatory, so you should pay attention to that.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;direction:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;">Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him)      said:</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;direction:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;">As for the words “is it better for the one who is striving      hard to be isolated or mix with people?”, although people disagree      concerning this issue, in whole or in part, the truth of the matter is that      mixing with people may, at different times, be obligatory or mustahabb, and      an individual may, at different times, be required to mix with people or to      isolate himself. It depends: if mixing with people will involve cooperation      in righteousness and piety, then he is enjoined to do it, and if it will      involve cooperation in sin and transgression, then he is forbidden to do it.      Mixing with the Muslims for some types of acts of worship, such as the five      daily prayers, Jumu’ah, the eclipse prayer, prayers for rain (istisqa’) and      so on, is something that is enjoined by Allaah and His Messenger  (peace      and blessings of Allaah be upon him).  The same applies to mixing with them      at the time of Hajj, when fighting the kuffaar, even if the leaders are      evildoers or there are evildoers among those groups.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;direction:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;">The same applies to meetings which increase a person in      faith, either because they benefit from him or he benefits from them, and so      on.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;direction:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;">But there are times when the believer must be alone in his      du’aa’, dhikr, prayer, thinking, taking stock of himself, setting himself      straight, and private matters which have nothing to do with anyone else. At      these times he needs to be alone, either in his house –as Tawoos said: The      best cell of a man is his house, where he restrains his gaze and tongue – or      elsewhere.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;direction:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;">Choosing to mix in absolute terms is wrong and choosing      isolation in absolute terms is also wrong. So too the amount of each that a      person needs, and what is best for him in each case, is something that      depends on each person, as stated above.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;direction:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;">Majmoo’ al-Fataawa (10/425,      426)</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;direction:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;">You should realize that the calamities that have befallen      your heart, of resentment and envy are all connected to the situation you      are in. The reward of a good deed is another good deed like it, and the      punishment of a bad deed is another bad deed.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;direction:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;">If you had understood things as they should be understood,      you would know that Allah knows best about His creation, and He raises some      of them above others in status, by His knowledge of His creation and His      wisdom for a purpose that He wants for them.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;direction:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;">Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;direction:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;">“See how We prefer one above another (in this world), and      verily, the Hereafter will be greater in degrees and greater in preferment”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;direction:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;">[al-Isra’ 17:21]</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;direction:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;">“Thus We have tried some of them with others, that they      might say: ‘Is it these (poor believers) whom Allaah has favoured from      amongst us?’ Does not Allaah know best those who are grateful?”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;direction:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;">[al-An’aam 6:53]</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;direction:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;">Shaykh Ibn Sa’di said: i.e., this is a way in which Allaah      tests His slaves, whereby He makes some of them rich and some poor, some      noble and some lowly. When Allaah blesses a poor or lowly person with faith,      that is a test for the rich and noble. If his aim is to find the truth and      follow it, he will believe and become Muslim, and the fact that there are      poor and lowly people who are less then him in wealth and status who are      Muslim does not prevent him from embracing Islam. But if he is not sincere      in seeking the truth, this will be an obstacle that will prevent him from      being among the followers of the truth.  They said, mocking those whom they      regarded as inferior to them, “Is it these (poor believers) whom Allaah      has favoured from amongst us?” That prevented them from following the      truth. Allaah said, responding to their words which implied objection to      Allaah for guiding these people and not guiding them: “Does not Allaah      know best those who are grateful?”, those who acknowledge the blessing      and appreciate it, and do what it requires of righteous deeds. So He bestows      His grace and favour upon them, and not those who are not grateful, for      Allaah is wise and does not bestow His grace on those who are not deserving      of it; those who objected do not deserve it, unlike those whom Allaah has      blessed with faith of the poor and others, who are grateful. Tafseer      al-Sa’di (258).</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;direction:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;">What you should have done was to hasten to do good deeds, and      give up evil, and compete with people in that, as the Lord of the Worlds      says (interpretation of the meaning):</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;direction:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;">“so compete in good deeds. The return of you (all) is to      Allaah; then He will inform you about that in which you used to differ”<br />
[al-Maa'idah 5:48].</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;direction:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;">Al-Hasan al-Basri (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:      Whoever competes with you in religious commitment, compete with him, and      whoever competes with you in worldly matters, give it up to him.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;direction:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;">But refraining from doing good deeds and being preoccupied      with these problems, this is not the action of wise people at all.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;direction:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;">We ask Allaah to guide you to that which He loves and which      pleases Him, and to set your thinking and your affairs straight, and to make      your heart steadfast in faith and obedience. We hope that you will      understand what we have said about reviewing your disconnection from your      sisters, including being keen to resume those good friendships, and keeping      away from the traps of the shaytaan and shunning his waswaas. We hope that      Allaah will help you to do that.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;direction:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;">And Allaah knows best.</p>
</div>
<div class="source">Islam Q&amp;A</div>
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		<title>A Few Good Men?</title>
		<link>http://fearthedunya.wordpress.com/2008/06/15/a-few-good-men/</link>
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		<pubDate>Sun, 15 Jun 2008 23:09:09 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>fearthedunya</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Reminders]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[American Muslim women bemoan lack of ‘good’ male suitors 
By SONDOS KHOLOKI-KAHF, Southern California InFocus
Afaf*, 25, has been searching for a husband for a solid two years to no avail.
&#8220;All my friends were getting married by the age of 22, so, naturally, I wanted to be part of the ‘wedding club,’&#8221; she recalls. &#8220;And, of [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><br /><h4><strong>American Muslim women bemoan lack of ‘good’ male suitors </strong></h4>
<p>By SONDOS KHOLOKI-KAHF, Southern California InFocus</p>
<p>Afaf*, 25, has been searching for a husband for a solid two years to no avail.</p>
<p>&#8220;All my friends were getting married by the age of 22, so, naturally, I wanted to be part of the ‘wedding club,’&#8221; she recalls. &#8220;And, of course, there was this romantic notion that it would be the love story of love stories.&#8221;</p>
<p>Afaf started feeling the pressure as her friends talked endlessly about wedding dresses, halal caterers and honeymoons, even though she had not been planning on getting married while in college.</p>
<p><span id="more-254"></span></p>
<p>&#8220;For whatever reason, getting married seemed to be the only, if not main, goal they strived for,&#8221; she says. &#8220;So, I felt I had to have this goal as well, and felt lacking among my friends that I was not married upon completion of my undergraduate studies.&#8221;</p>
<p>Thus began her search after graduating from college. When suitors came knocking, Afaf was surprised at the mediocrity of the suitors available and was left wondering, &#8220;Where are all the ‘good guys’?&#8221;</p>
<p>Afaf, now a first-year law student, is one of thousands of American Muslim women between the ages of 25 and 30 struggling to find a decent suitor. Educated, pious, beautiful and accomplished, these women should have a gaggle of like-minded men waiting outside their doors. Unfortunately, the few, if any, men who approach these women appear less than satisfactory.</p>
<p>&#8220;I tend to meet two types [of men],&#8221; says Maryam*, 28, who has also been searching for a mate since college. &#8220;The first is the practicing Muslim brother who has his act together, but unfortunately has some really incompatible ideas about women and gender roles. The second type I meet is progressive and open-minded and is truly looking for a partner in life, but is not a practicing Muslim.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;For me,&#8221; Afaf says, &#8220;a good man is someone who lives a balanced life between Western and Eastern culture, giving precedence to religion.&#8221;</p>
<p>The lack of noteworthy male suitors is a topic frequently discussed between female friends. Muslim women are frustrated with the options left, and many are worried that their degrees and careers are getting in the way of meeting Mr. Right.</p>
<p>&#8220;We’ve been pushing young women to get educated and to get jobs, and now they’re being penalized for their ambition,&#8221; according to Munira Ezzeldine, author of &#8220;Before the Wedding: 150 Questions for Muslims to Ask Before Getting Married.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;However, while these men are impressed with a successful and active woman, they do not consider her ‘marriage material,’&#8221; Ezzeldine adds. &#8220;Despite the elevation of women, many men have maintained traditional ideas as to the type of wife they seek. After all, they do not see anything wrong with the way their mother was.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;I recently had a suitor who told me he would be willing to help me [around the house] by not making a mess,&#8221; Afaf recalls, adding he also told her she should not use her job as an excuse to ask him to help out at home.</p>
<p>&#8220;Furthermore, if he comes home from work hungry, I guess that would mean I would have to work part-time in order to have dinner prepared and ready when he comes home. I think that is the most frustrating aspect of being a female, only to be seen as a maid and a cook,&#8221; she says.</p>
<p>Dr. Maher Hathout, spokesman for the Islamic Center of Southern California, agrees. &#8220;Men are being programmed by their parents to look for a specific kind of woman: submissive, comforting, shy, and obedient,&#8221; he says. &#8220;The reality is that women are educated and looking to be comrades in marriage.&#8221;</p>
<p>The marriage crisis materializes when these women in their late 20s and early 30s become settled in their careers or studies and seem like less desirable options to men because they will not bend into this traditional role. While these women work on their personal goals, young Muslim men appear to give up on them and marry from &#8220;back home&#8221; or marry non-Muslims, making the pool of suitors even smaller.</p>
<p>&#8220;Education is becoming a sore point for the girls because the guy moves on,&#8221; says Shaikh Sadullah Khan, executive director of Religious Affairs at the Islamic Center of Irvine. &#8220;Our immigrant community has this mentality that our kid must graduate first, and for the girl, we’re stressing graduation versus marriage.&#8221;</p>
<p>Indeed, a startling number of young Muslim women are finding themselves scrambling to find a husband before reaching their 30s and possibly never marrying. Many accomplished and educated young women end up lowering their standards for the sake of avoiding lifelong loneliness.</p>
<p>&#8220;Unless this crisis is addressed seriously, honestly and scientifically, it will lead to the disintegration of our community through a dilution of the next generation Islamically, a sudden revolt against marriage by women or a decrease in self-esteem among wives who lowered their standards just to marry,&#8221; Hathout warns.</p>
<p>One young Muslim bachelor still searching for a spouse shares his take on the seeming lack of &#8220;good guys&#8221; on his weblog, &#8220;Marriage &amp; Islam: The Quest for the Sweet One.&#8221; In the post, Quest, as he is called to maintain anonymity, states that the worthiest bachelors start looking for a spouse when they are in their early 20s to &#8220;satisfy their built-in, intense desire for women. &#8230; And this desire is always there, in the back of every man’s mind since puberty, like a ticking [bomb].&#8221;</p>
<p>These young, pious men begin looking for a wife, Quest reasons, who is closest to their age — basically, 19 to 21 years old.</p>
<p>&#8220;And what are these ‘good, smart ambitious girls’ doing when they’re in that age range?&#8221; Quest writes. &#8220;They’re also busy working on their education&#8221; and aren’t considering marriage. Or those who are considering marriage may be in a different location, so the two never meet, and the bachelors get fed up and marry from back home, he says.</p>
<p>Essentially, Quest emphasizes that the lack of a meeting forum is at the heart of the issue. &#8220;I think that is the BIGGEST problem – Muslims are scattered all over the country, and we’re not well connected. It’s hard to identify, know about, and meet the families of all the ‘good girls’ in a major metropolitan city, let alone the country,&#8221; he explains. &#8220;We put all these obstacles between faithful Muslim guys and girls, that I think even a Muslim Tom Cruise would have a hard time marrying!&#8221;</p>
<p>With the current circumstances at hand, Ezzeldine advises young women to plan realistically. &#8220;You have to realize that you can’t have it all,&#8221; she says. &#8220;It’s not going to be a fairy-tale where you excel at school, work 40-hour weeks, and marry a perfect guy. If you want to focus on a job or a higher degree, know that you might not have time to meet people.&#8221;</p>
<p>Quest echoes this sentiment by clarifying that women shouldn’t have to give up their goals, but should realize that in doing so, they are taking a risk. &#8220;The longer they delay marriage in favor of education, the less [number of ] eligible men they’ll meet once they’re ready for marriage,&#8221; he says. &#8220;And marriage and education are not necessarily conflicting. With the right husband, both can continue. It’s definitely a topic that should be brought up when considering a potential husband,&#8221; he adds.</p>
<p>Dr. Hathout also favors a path that allows for both education and marriage to flourish simultaneously. &#8220;We need to change the current family model into one that builds the self, the family, and each other at the same time,&#8221; he says. &#8220;Think of marriage as a tennis match — you want to play doubles, not singles, to win. In other words, struggle together and build your empire together. You are ready for marriage as long as you can get food on the table and a roof over your head, and there’s a potentiality for growth,&#8221; he stresses.</p>
<p>Ezzeldine draws on the life of the Prophet Muhammad for guidance, specifically the example of his relationship with Khadijah.</p>
<p>&#8220;The Prophet’s first wife, Khadijah, was an established career woman who was 15 years older than her husband,&#8221; Ezzeldine says. &#8220;Khadijah was a very confident and successful woman who actually proposed to the 24-year-old Muhammad. Yet, the Prophet was not intimidated by her nor found her ‘unmarriageable.’ They maintained a strong marriage as she continued to be a businesswoman, as well as wife and mother.&#8221;</p>
<p>Ezzeldine goes on to remind Muslims that Prophet Muhammad and Khadijah were married for 28 years, the longest of all his marriages. &#8220;Many Muslim women seek not to compete with men, but rather to establish a partnership with their spouse,&#8221; she continues. &#8220;Ultimately, these women want to be cherished and loved in the same way that the Prophet loved Khadijah. This type of partnership in marriage can only exist when both people are accepting and respectful of one another’s ambitions and priorities in life.&#8221;</p>
<p>Afaf has not given up searching for Mr. Right, but meanwhile uses school as a welcome distraction. &#8220;I used to be obsessed about marriage until I entered law school,&#8221; she says. &#8220;Pursuing my graduate studies has really allowed me to learn a lot about myself and to focus on things that matter. It is very sad to see girls who are 22 and depressed as to why they are not married. I have no problem with a woman who chooses to be a wife and a mother, but I do have problem if she believes that is all she can be … or doesn’t define herself as accomplished until she attains her MRS. Degree.&#8221;</p>
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		<title>Allah Has Named Us Muslims&#8230;</title>
		<link>http://fearthedunya.wordpress.com/2008/06/15/allah-has-named-us-muslims/</link>
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		<pubDate>Sun, 15 Jun 2008 04:10:29 +0000</pubDate>
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		<category><![CDATA[The Salaf]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Islam]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[salafi]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[salafiyyah]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[al-albaani]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[So Why Ascribe Ourselves to the Salaf?
This doubt was very beautifully answered by Imaam al-Albaani in his discussion with someone on this subject, recorded on the cassette entitled, “I am Salafi”, and here is a presentation of the vital parts of it:
Shaikh al-Albaani: “When it is said to you, ‘What is your madhhab’, what  [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><br /><h4><em>So Why Ascribe Ourselves to the Salaf?</em></h4>
<p><span>This doubt was very beautifully answered by Imaam al-Albaani in his discussion with someone on this subject, recorded on the cassette entitled, “I am Salafi”, and here is a presentation of the vital parts of it:</span></p>
<p><span><strong>Shaikh al-Albaani</strong>: “When it is said to you, ‘What is your madhhab’, what  is your reply?”</span></p>
<p><span><strong>Questioner:</strong> “A Muslim”.</span></p>
<p><span><strong>Shaikh al-Albaani:</strong> “This is not sufficient!”.</span></p>
<p><span><strong>Questioner:</strong> “Allaah has named us Muslims” and he recited the saying of  Allaah Most High, “<strong>He is the one who has called you Muslims beforehand</strong>.”  (al-Hajj 22:7 <img class="wp-smiley" src="http://s.wordpress.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_cool.gif" alt="8)" /> </span></p>
<p><span><strong>Shaikh al-Albaani:</strong> “This would be a correct answer if we were in the very first times (of Islaam) before the sects had appeared and spread. <strong>But if we were to ask, now, any Muslim from any of these sects with which we differ on account of aqeedah, his answer would not be any different to this word. All of them – the Shi’ite Rafidi, the Khaariji, the Nusayri Alawi – would say, “I am a Muslim”</strong>. Hence, this is not sufficient in these days.”</span></p>
<p><span id="more-253"></span></p>
<p><span><strong>Questioner:</strong> “In that case I say, I am a Muslim upon the Book and the  Sunnah.”</span></p>
<p><span><strong>Shaikh al-Albaani:</strong> “This is not sufficient either”.</span></p>
<p><span><strong>Questioner:</strong> “Why?”<strong> <span> </span></strong></span></p>
<p><span><strong><span>Shaikh al-Albaani:</span></strong><span> “Do you find any of those whom we have just mentioned by way of example saying, ‘I am a Muslim who is not upon the Book and the Sunnah’?” Who is the one who says, ‘I am not upon the Book and the Sunnah’?”</span></span></p>
<p><span><span>At this point the Shaikh then began to explain in detail the importance of being upon the Book and the Sunnah in light of the understanding of the Salaf us-Saalih…</span></span></p>
<p><span><span><strong>Questioner:</strong> “In that case I am a Muslim upon the Book and the Sunnah with  the understanding of the Salaf us-Saalih”.</span></span></p>
<p><span><span><strong>Shaikh al-Albaani:</strong> “When a person asks you about your madhhab, is this  what you will say to him?”</span></span></p>
<p><span><span><strong>Questioner:</strong> “Yes”.</span></span></p>
<p><span><span><strong>Shaikh al-Albaani:</strong> <strong>“What is your view that we shorten this phrase in the language, since the best words are those that are few but indicated the desired intent, so we say, ‘Salafi’?”</strong> End of quotation.</span></span></p>
<p><span><span>Hence, the point is that naming with “Muslim” or “Sunni” is not enough, since everyone will claim that. And Imaam al-Albaani emphasised the importance of the truth being distinguished from the falsehood – from the point of view of the basis of manhaj and aqidah, and that is taking from the Salaf us-Saalih, as opposed to the various sects and groups whose understandings are based upon those of their mentors and leaders and not that of the Salaf, <strong>fundamentally</strong>.</span></span></p>
<p><span class="regtext"><span><span><span><span><strong>Questioner: </strong>[Continuing from where we left off] “Alright, I will submit to you and I say to you: Yes (I agree about summarising with saying ‘I am Salafi’), yet my belief is what has preceded, since the first thing that a person thinks of when he hears that you are a Salafi is that he recalls much of the experience he has had and which has involved severity which leads to harshness, all of which sometimes occurs from the Salafis.”</span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p><span><span><span><span><strong>Shaikh al-Albaani: </strong>“Lets accept that your words are correct. If you said ‘I am a Muslim’, will not a person’s think of a Shi’ite Rafidee, or a Druze or an Ismaa’eeli (and incline to him).”</span></span></span></span></p>
<p><span><span><span><span><strong>Questioner: </strong>“It is possible, however, I will have followed the noble  verse, “He has named you Muslims”.  <span> </span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p><span><span><span><span><span><strong>Shaikh al-Albaani: </strong>“No my brother! You have not followed the verse<strong>,  since the verse means the correct form of Islaam</strong>. It is necessary that you address the people according to their level of understanding…<strong> so will anyone understand from you (when you say ‘I am a Muslim’) that you are indeed a Muslim with the desired meaning in the verse (of correct Islaam)? </strong>As for the various cautionary matters you have mentioned, then these are sometimes correct and sometimes they are not correct. Since your saying about harshness, then this can sometimes occur from individuals, yet this is not representative of a methodology that is tied to knowledge and belief. Leave aside individuals for now, we are actually talking about manhaj (methodology). This is because when we say Shi’ite, or a Druze, or a Khaarijee, or a Soofee, or a Mutazilee, the various cautionary matters you raised come into play (and can apply to them aswell). Hence, this is not the subject of our discussion. <strong>We are investigating a name which gives evidence to the madhhab of an individual and by which he worships Allaah… Are not all the Companions Muslims?”</strong></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p><span><span><span><span><span><strong>Questioner: </strong>“Naturally.”</span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p><span><span><span><span><span><strong>Shaikh al-Albaani: </strong>“However, there was amongst them, one who stole, or fornicated, but this does not allow any of them to say, ‘I am not a Muslim’, rather he is a Muslim and a Believer in Allaah, as a chosen way, however he sometimes opposes his chosen way, because he is not infallible. And it is for this reason that we – may Allaah bless you – are speaking about a word which indicates our aqidah and our thought and our starting point in our lives and which relates to the affairs of our religion by which we worship Allaah. As for the issue of so and so who is harsh and so and so who is lax and too soft, then that is an entirely different issue…. <strong>I wish that you would reflect upon this concise word (i.e. Salafi) so that you do not persist upon the word ‘Muslim’. And you know that there is no one who will understand what you really intend (by using the word ‘Muslim’ alone) ever…”</strong> End Quote (Cassette “I am a Salafi”).</span></span></span></span></span></p>
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			<media:title type="html">8)</media:title>
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		<title>Terrorism: Wake Up Call</title>
		<link>http://fearthedunya.wordpress.com/2008/06/11/on-terrorism/</link>
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		<pubDate>Wed, 11 Jun 2008 10:38:20 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>fearthedunya</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Contemporary Issues]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Islam]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Terrorism]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[New World Order]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[america]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[terrorist]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[
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		<title>Must Read: &#8220;What I Witnessed in England&#8221;</title>
		<link>http://fearthedunya.wordpress.com/2008/06/09/must-read-what-i-witnessed-in-england/</link>
		<comments>http://fearthedunya.wordpress.com/2008/06/09/must-read-what-i-witnessed-in-england/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 09 Jun 2008 20:49:09 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>fearthedunya</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Reminders]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[salafi]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[fitnah]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[england]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[yahya hajooree]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[
 &#62;&#62;&#62; &#8220;What I Witnessed in England&#8221; &#60;&#60;&#60;
Shaykh Yahya Al-Hajooree
       ]]></description>
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<h4 style="text-align:center;"><strong> &gt;&gt;&gt; <a href="http://al-ibaanah.com/cms/pdf_files/47.pdf">&#8220;What I Witnessed in England&#8221;</a> &lt;&lt;&lt;</strong></h4>
<p style="text-align:center;">Shaykh Yahya Al-Hajooree</p>
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